Oops!
by galafael
Summary: Lord of the Rings meets Harry Potter...pandemonium ensues.


A/N: This is based on a list of cut outs from the HP books by J. Marie, and a conversation following it between myself and Mylaea. Enjoy!  
  
A/N #2: Aina- Mylaea  
Fae- Me!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Snape, Professor McGonagall, Hermione, the Hogwarts grounds, the Forest, Dobby, or Voldemort. J.K Rowling, the most wonderful female writer ever, does. I do not own Aragorn, Legolas (Too bad I don't own them....*sadistic grin that you know all too well*), Legolas's horse, Arod, Aragorn's horse, Hasufel, or Middle Earth. They all belong to J. R. R Tolkien, the most wonderful male author. I also do not own the section between the lines, and they were only put there so you all weren't confused. That section belongs to J. Marie. I do own Fae, as she is me, but I do not own Aina, as she is Mylaea, and I don't own her.  
  
  
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Aragorn: I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and if by my life or death I can protect you, I-  
Dobby: Um, Aragorn, son of Arathorn?  
Aragorn: Yes, Frodo?  
Dobby: I is not Frodo, sir, I is Dobby the House Elf. Dobby is thinking you is in the wrong book, sir.  
Aragorn: Damn it. All you midgets look alike.  
Dobby: Dobby is sorry, sir.  
Aragorn: No, no. My apologies. I better get back to Middle Earth before someone gets the Ring...is that Legolas???  
*A handsome Elven archer runs by, screaming. Every female at Hogwarts was chasing after him, including Professor McGonagall. They all wanted him to sign their underwear.*  
Aragorn: This always happens. I swear, I can't take that guy anywhere.  
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*Aragorn sits down, figuring they might be here for a while, and begins to talk to Dobby.*  
Galafael: I WANT HIM TO SIGN MY UNDERWEAR! *joins the chase after her Elven love*  
Ainaernilien: *runs with her*  
Fae: *watches giddily as Legolas flees from the crazy fan girls, and takes out her bow and shoots all the other girls, except Aina, because elves don't shoot other elves*  
Aina: *looks at her maroon and silver dress, complete with bodice* How did I get in a dress?  
Fae: *strides across Hogwarts Grounds and jumps atop Legolas's horse, pulling you up with her* And now, back to Middle Earth! *whispers in Legolas' ear* You'll still sign MY underwear, right?  
Legolas: *nods, relieved to be away from the fan girls*  
Fae: *is attempting to keep her green and silver dress over her legs, not that Legolas would mind* I am a lady, even if I am an elf...*looks over her shoulder* You still back there, Aina, or did you fall off?  
Aina: I'm busy polishing my sword... *points ahead with the sword*  
Fae: *pulls out her arrows and begins to sharpen them* Ready to kill some more women? *looks ahead, where women are waiting for Legolas and Aragorn* Where is Aragorn, anyway? *looks back, and sees Aragorn talking with the house-elf*  
Aina: *shouts to Aragorn* hey, let's go!  
Fae: *pokes you* Listen to them... *both listen to Aragorn talking*   
Aragorn: Well, after I met the stupid midgets, Frodo, the one with that infernal piece of gold, got stabbed, so I had to help him, and then, then...there's just so much anxiety! *both laugh and Aragorn looks at us*  
Aina: *beckons to him, and he hops on his horse and rides over*  
Fae: Hey, you want to get on his horse? I think we're all wearing out poor Arod...  
Aina: *jumps on behind Aragorn* Let's go! Time to kill our competition.... I mean, wrongdoers... *grins evilly*  
Fae: *throws her head back and cackles...oops....laughs, silver hair streaming out behind her* Let's go! *looses an arrow into Hermione's throat* MY MAN!  
Aina: *lobs off a few heads as the horse gallops by, one arm around Aragorn's waist*  
Fae: *shoots a couple more girls*  
Aina: *attempts to lob the head off of one crazy fan girl in a big black robe, but misses*  
Fae: *puts one hand in Legolas' free hand, stands up, feet planted on Arod's side, and pulls out her sword, lobbing off several body parts before flipping off the horse and landing in front of a group of crazy fan girls* Yay! I stuck my dismount! *charges the crazy fan girls*  
Aina: *kicks off the horse and follows behind, swinging her sword above her head*  
Fae: *tackles the black robed figure, sword poised to kill, and stops* OMG! *runs and hides behind Legolas, who is off of Arod, standing next to the tired horse*  
Aina: *looks at her friend*  
Fae: *points one shaky finger at the figure* Severus, not you too! *faints*  
Aina: *stares, wide eyed* Severus?  
Fae: *is quickly revived by Aragorn, who is laughing his head off at Snape*  
Aina: This is too much to believe! *tackles some more fan girls*  
Fae: *lurches upright just in time to see her hewing off the last fan girls head, and dragging Snape over* Severus, what are YOU doing here?  
Aina: *looks at Snape, then Aragorn, then Snape, then Aragorn, and gets a headache*  
Fae: *blanches as Snape holds up a silver and green Slytherin thong* AH! I'm wearing those colors! *feels dirty* GET IT OFF! *pulls off her clothing and dives into the cool lake*  
Aina: *shields all the men's eyes*  
Legolas: *peeks through her fingers*  
Fae: *giggles* Legolas doesn't mind...trust me on that one...after that night in Mirkwood, he'll never mind again. *laughs full-heartedly as Legolas reddens*  
Aragorn: Whoa-ho man! What was going on between you two that night? *grins*  
Fae: *beckons to Legolas, a playful glint in her eye*  
Legolas: *runs toward the lake, regardless of Snape attempting to beat him there*  
Fae: *giggles* You should come in too Aina....I bet Aragorn will follow.... *looks at Aragorn, who is attempting to peek*  
Aina: *slaps Aragorn upside his head*  
Fae:*looks at Legolas and Snape, who are tearing off clothes while running, and dives under the water as Legolas jumps in at the same place she was sitting* AH!  
Aina: *throws back her head and laughs* You almost got killed by a flying Elf!  
Fae: *glares at her*  
Aina: *shrugs* When in Gondor... *dives in*  
Fae: *laughs her head off at Aragorn* See what I mean? *watches him run toward the lake*  
Aragorn: *strips and follows her in*  
Aina:*sighs* I guess you're right *dunks Aragorn*  
Fae: *jumps on Legolas' back and pulls him under the water*  
Legolas: *uses his abnormal Elven strength to throw her playfully to Snape*  
Fae: *squeals* Mean!  
Snape: *catches her effortlessy*  
Fae: *slides from Snape's arms and swims quickly to the other side of the pond*  
Aina: *swims to Aragorn* Race ya!  
Fae: *swims to Legolas and starts to kiss him, then ducks from his arms and swims away, underwater* Blub... *resurfaces about 20 feet away* Poor Snape, he's not getting any action...  
Aragorn: *effortlessy tosses our friend, Linien, to him*  
Fae: *screams in the midst of all this and swims away like the devil is on her heels....no, wait...just Legolas....*  
Snape: *is happy for the rest of this twisted fic*  
Fae: *ignores Snape and his happiness, playing a twisted game of Keep Away with Legolas*  
Aina: *kisses Aragorn then swims off*  
Fae: *screams as Legolas grabs her ankle* Help! He's got me! *tries like Mordor to get away, but fails*  
Aragorn: *dives under*  
Aina: *goes to search for him, and get yanked under*  
Fae: *looks at the look on Legolas' face, and swims to the bank, heaving herself out of the water*  
Aina: *shields Aragorn's eyes*  
Fae: *goes streaking across the Grounds, ignoring Voldemort, who is watching from the Forest* Ah! *looks down, and reaches off screen, grabbing a silver dress and throwing it on*  
Aina: *takes her hand away from Aragorn's eyes and watches as her friend gets pursued into the Forbidden Forest by a nude Legolas*  
Aragorn: *shields Aina's eyes*  
  
Fae: *runs, screaming, out of the Forest, pursued by a now clothed Legolas and Voldemort* HELP ME! *hops on Arod, pulling Legolas up after her*  
Aina and Aragorn: *heave themselves out of the water*  
Fae: *covers Legolas' eyes*  
Legolas: *covers Fae's eyes*  
Aina: *pulls on a silver dress that looks like Fae's, and hops onto Aragorn's horse, Hasufel, pulling the now clothed Aragorn on after her*   
Legolas and Fae: *uncover each others eyes*   
Fae: Let's get back to Middle Earth before something bad happens! *flicks Arod's reins, as she is sitting in the front, and Aina follows her, also sitting in the front*  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~MEANWHILE, BACK IN MIDDLE EARTH!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*Frodo has had the ring taken from him, because Aragorn and Legolas are out defending house elves and playing in a lake nude instead of here, defending hobbits, fully clothed.*  
  
Sauron: FINALLY! THE RING! WITH THIS RING, I WILL RULE THE THE WORLD! *sends hordes of Orcs to every corner of the World to bring back the prisoners*  
  
*We pop into the middle of the pandemonium*  
  
Legolas: Well, this can't be good at all.  
Aragorn: Oops.  
  
  
A/N: Well, that was dumb. Oh well, it was funny too. Aina, if you are reading this, I want you to do this your way, and we can compare them! I'm very interested in seeing how you do this. Until our paths cross again, my fair Elven friend! In other words, until tomorrow.  
  
*~*~*The fair Elven-maid Galafael*~*~*  
  
Extra notes on text: For those of you who didn't understand what some of the references meant, this is for you.  
  
"...tries like Mordor to get away..." = "...tries like Hell to get away..."  
"When in Gondor..." = "When in Rome..."  
  
There ya go! 


End file.
